Angels Among us

there is a verse that tells us to be kind to strangers for some have entertained angels unaware....

I've always wondered about this, then I had an experience that made me wonder if I had been entertaining an angel...

When I left my ex-husband I left without anything, it was the first time I was on my own. I had a borrowed vehicle and after weeks of pressuring from my ex I was feeling guilty and decided to return but on my way I was sitting still in traffic when I was rear ended by a drunk driver, my borrowed vehicle was knocked up in the air and into the vehicle in front of me(this was Oct 15, 2008) I had to begin searching for a vehicle more frequent. My sister called and said she found a van down the road from her, so my step daddy took me to check it out and he said  he thought it was ok but I needed to have the mechanic look it over.
When I couldn't get to the mechanic, I made an offer of 800 and the lady said I can do that so I walked out the owner of a mini van. My mom said maybe it'll last you 6 months, I told her to bite her tongue I was praying for much longer.... then on Dec 17, 2008(not even a month later), my daughter and I were heading down a road I wasn't really familiar with heading to one of my cleaning jobs. All of a sudden the van began to loose power and die on me, I was in the left lane with my lead foot so I had to coast to the right lane and try to turn off into a parking lot, I made the turn onto the side road and it died completely, lost all steering since it was power steering and I almost got rear ended and almost side swiped another vehicle. As we were getting out to push the van into the parking lot, a big delivery truck driver pulled up beside me and asked if we needed help, usually I'm terrified of men but I wasn't this time. I told him that would be great, we're going to push it into that parking lot. So he parked the truck and came to help us, the push was easy and was done in no time flat, I heard him say jump in and put on the brakes-so I did and put it in park.
I then turned to say thank you but he had vanished along with his truck, I looked over at my daughter and asked.... did you see him too? She responded yes, I saw all of them. Then I was baffled for I had seen one but she said they kept coming out of the car. So I have to ask was that by chance or was that an angel/ well angels since there were more than one.
Then the rest of the day couldn't have been planned any better... makes me thankful that God has all of my days planned for me already.... for He knew this is where that incident would take me...
I then called my cousin to come help, I also called the children's pastor because he worked in the area and was always having car trouble so I figured he'd have tools but he wasn't able to help either. So I asked my cousin to take us back to my mom's. He had just gone grocery shopping so he had groceries in his truck, he bought a bag of ice to keep it cold, I told him that a bag of ice wasn't going to be good enough for my mom's was 2hrs away and asked him to take us to my grandparents first so he could go put away his groceries first.
When we got there my papa was asleep and as I was getting ready to leave I felt like I needed to kiss my papa bye; so I gave him a kiss. He woke up and grabbed my hands, I thought I had startled him and was about to get  into trouble but instead he smiled and said "you did make it", I told him I had been busy working and he asked if I was still cleaning houses, I told him I was and also still at the portrait studio. I then told him I'd come back to see him as soon as I had some time off but, he said "hopefully before Christmas or right after"... He then told me "I want you to know that you're one of mine and I have always loved you since the moment I learned of you"(I was born out of wedlock to a teen mom- more of that will come one day). he then said have me more grandbabies, I said papa I can't this is my baby(pointing to my daughter, I told him my kids would have to be having the next babies). He said you'll have me more grandbabies(I wondered how that would happen,because I had to have a hysterectomy the year before), then he said if you don't make it back by Christmas there wouldn't be much more time. At that time it didn't sink in but today I can look back and see it, oh and granny had warned me that his hearing aid got dropped in the tub and didn't work so he may not hear me(I'm soft spoken), he heard me better than he ever did with that darn old hearing aid(just shows me that we will be completely healed when our time comes). Not until I got a phone call on Dec 27 from my aunt,did I even begin to realize he was telling me bye.
 I found out he was very sick and in the hospital and they were keeping him in ICU, apparently he kept raising heck and told them to send him home(he wrote a letter to be shared at his funeral and words from it still stick with me"When it's a mans time he doesn't need a doctor or hospital, he needs to be at home with his family and he knows when his time is, so listen to him..."). So they let him go home on Dec 28th, When I called my aunt on the 29th to check on him she said he was still asleep, I told her I was headed over there as soon as I got out of the shower, she said ok... I didn't make it for I received the call less than an hour later saying he had passed, I was crushed and couldn't even talk to my mom to let her know what was wong but she was able to guess.
This was one of the hardest things I had to go through on my own, since I left my ex and my mom wasn't comfortable being there as she never married my daddy and the family didn't need her around.
We buried him New Years Eve, 2008. I was very thankful that the family accepted me and made me feel welcomed but it was still very awkward with everyone knowing me and I didn't have a clue who most of the people were.

Well that's enough of my ramblings.....

I miss you, papa....

I know I have a promise to see you again, so until that day I will cherish what memories I do have....
Oh, I 've remarried and have a step-son(so maybe this is what my grandpa meant when he said I'd have more babies).
 in loving memory of Bill Parker

friendships

I don't have many fiendships, I don't let to many people into my life for fear of...
Being hurt, gossip, trust issues, etc...
So this lead me to a Christian penpal site, and many years ago(6 or 7 now), I got an email from a lady in Australia, she had a young daughter and it was at a time my children were working on Australia for a geography fair,so she and I hit it off real well. God has used her many times to teach me something. Even the fact that I began to open up to her, helped me begin to open up to others. Life has gotten busy for the both of us and we don't email as often and since I no longer have vonage I don't get to call her any more, this I miss a lot. Anyway, the reason I decided to write about Kim is because, she replied to me about my previous blog. Reading her experience showed me, I'm not alone and I'm not taking care of me, I spend so much time doing everything else I'm not spending time with God and I'm not taking the time to take care of my needs. She helped me realize that I must do these things or all areas of my life and relationships are going to suffer.
We all need daily time with our heavenly father and our spouse, children,and we need time for ourselves also and also friends.we need to do it in order and set boundaries, one wise woman told me its ok to say no sometimes. I need to learn to practice that more.

Kim, thank you for your friendship, God put you in my life and I in yours for a reason. I know when I learned you wanted more children but were afraid, I set out to pray for you and you'll never know how excited I was to hear you were pregnant and to know I was able to pray for you continuously during that time and rejoice with you all when yall welcomed Amber Grace into this world. I use to go back and reread our emails but since I deleted that first email account I can't do that anymore but many times you gave me a much needed scripture or words of encouragement and I want to say thank you!!! You were there for me during many hard times and you helped me see things differently and shared a much needed scripture many times that got me right out of my pity slump, I hope we can find more time to communicate.

I know we're all busy now but still I think of you and pray for you often. Your friendship has meant the world to me, I can't wait until the day we meet, whether here or there or in heaven.

why do mom's feel guilty

I've been a mom for over 21 years now and still find myself feeling guilty.
Do you think nothing else matters but your child(ren)? Today, I got my
step-son off to school. After I finished walking the dogs; I came back in the house and fed the dogs.
my to do list seems to be never ending, and all I want is a time to be alone and quite doing nothing. Yet, I feel so guilty as I should be doing something from my much needed never ending to do list(running all around in my head, getting jumbled together). Everybody else seems to have it all together and I seem to be doing this mom thing differently than anyone else. how do you all do it all? I teach part-time outside of the home, then I'm wife,maid,cook,mom,nurse,vet,the list could go on and on....
i know God doesn't give me more than I can handle, so I guess I need to figure out how to do it better... I began typing this and just realized God commanded us to have a day of rest, and no it's not going to church on Sunday, its having a full day of rest in the Lord. I read some Bible daily, but not like I once did. I spend time with Jesus but not like I once did; I spend time with my children but again not like I once did.... why? I ask myself and the answer is I feel guilty and feel as though I'm not good enough.... This causes my relationships to suffer; now that I figured out whats causing it, how do I fix it... How do I stop feeling guilty for not wanting to do anything at times.